Lesson: "I once felt guilty about having that jealously, and I now have learned to embrace it. It's human nature, and it keeps us dreaming and our hearts open to imagination." - Ade
I'm not sure if it's the dreary weather here in Portland, or the fact that it's been a couple months since we've seen many of the important people in our lives, but lately, things are striking a really deep chord in my heart. This morning I woke up to a note from one of the greatest friends. It was filled with love and support...and honesty. She said, "it pings our hearts some because we wish we could be there too. I'll admit, your grass looks greener to us at times. I'm guessing you guys probably feel the same when you scroll Facebook, hear about gathering of friends or family and feel like you guys are missing out also."
She couldn't be more right...
Social media makes our societal norm of 'sharing the good' so very easy. People take countless pictures just to get one perfect shot and post only about the days that are the best. I'm as guilty of this as the next person - who wants to read about Blair and I spending the past three days at our computers making endless phone calls, writing and re-writing, while surrounded by scattered papers? This is our reality 90% of the time...me with no make-up, air dried hair, laundry to be put away covering the bed, and Blair in the other room plugging away on his computer.
This 'reality' sometimes makes it difficult to remember to be thankful we have this opportunity to do what we're doing. There are times when one day rolls into the next and we don't spend any time exploring because there are other things that have to be the priority. And despite having been on the road for five months, there are times we still feel so unsettled and disorganized.
The friend who wrote the note has the cutest little miss on the entire planet...I'm not even joking! I have been told that, as her Godmother I may be biased, but I don't think so... She is an incredible tiny human and this summer, she'll be a big sister. We see them looking for a new house to call home for their amazing and growing family; and to me our grass pales in comparison to the vibrant green of theirs. We want a family; to get up with a little one in the middle of the night, to have days filled with diapers and puke, and to experience the immeasurable amount of love and laughter little ones bring...but it's taking longer than we had hoped...
Comparison is a funny thing; on one hand is a woman with this wonderful, I mean truly great, family looking at me and wishing, sometimes, that she was here - and on the other hand, I am wishing for my own family of 2 to grow as hers is. I've seen a quote that says, "You may think the grass is greener on the other side, but if you took the time to water your own grass, it'd be just as green." I think that's true, but only to an extent. We need to be happy in our own lives, and tend to it if we aren't; but to me this quote also implies we should feel bad for even looking at other people's lawns.
My favorite line of her note was: "I once felt guilty about having that jealously, and I now have learned to embrace it. It's human nature, and it keeps us dreaming and our hearts open to imagination." I think we can all learn so much from her way of thinking - accepting and embracing the fact that, hell yeah, we get jealous sometimes! But that doesn't mean we don't love our lives or would change anything about them; it just means that sometimes when we see awesome stuff happening in other people's lives, we want it to happen in ours too.
It seems people so often get caught up in the 'either/or' of life. You can either have one thing or the other...you can either love your life, or want it to be different. Why can't it be both? Why can't I love life on the road but feel a sting when I hear about people's growing families...Why can't others love their family but feel a ping of jealousy at my adventures? Why has society told us that we need to feel guilty about these feelings that come so naturally?
My dear fried, I needed the love in your message this morning - I miss you! - and I think everyone can learn so much from your words and your perspective.